FORD'S CRACK VIDEO LEAKED ON UNCRACKABLE HD DVD
Rob Ford gets a lucky break in a week that he's described as "business as usual."
The search for the video - allegedly showing Ford smoking crack cocaine - may be over, but the video is, as of yet, unplayable. Gawker's contact with the video owner provided an HD DVD disk in exchange for the over $200K raised through crowdfunding site, indiegogo.com.
"This is un-fucking believable," said a frustrated Cook to Hammer in the News' drug correspondent, Mike Parcy. "We've busted our ass trying to raise this money for hard-working crack dealers, and now this. I can't believe everyone threw out their HD DVD players."
The massive treasure hunt for an HD DVD player comes with the promise of a $20,000 reward. And pawn shops and electronic museums are bursting with new business. One Hamilton pawn shop owner says that they "come in for an HD DVD player, and leave with a trombone, or a tandem bike. It's great for business."
Brother Doug Destroys his HD DVD player
They Mayor's brother, Councillor Doug Ford, responded saying, "I just threw out my player last week when I was destroying some ev...anyways, I was doing spring cleaning. Look. The Left will always cook up stories to mar our good name - like with the conflicts of interest case, Rob suing himself, his impaired driving, possession of marijuana, alleged sexual harassment, alleged public and private alcohol abuse, promising to get illegal Oxycontin for a constituent, and now saying I sold Hashish in the 80s. I do not sell hashish."
While the search continues for the elusive HD DVD player, this reporter will be pulling out his laser disc player to watch E.T.
by Farley Hammerton, editor-in-chief
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