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Bratina bows out of mayors' race, yet declares victory


It's not who wins that's who would have won.

Hamlton Mayor Bob Bratina has withdrawn from Canada’s first Mayoral
Marathon, citing a conflict with a Balkan Strings rehearsal.

“Let’s just say, had I competed, I would have won.  I feel sorry for
whoever ends up finishing first, because in their heart of hearts, they
know they really just got silver,” the mayor announced at a hastily
scheduled press conference yesterday.

As Bratina’s wikipedia page notes, Bratina has run 18
marathons and posted rapid times even after turning forty five.
Indeed, his continued running prowess has more recently earned him the
name “The Flying Pen...

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Canada Braces for More Winter Small Talk

Tags: weather, language, winter


Snow what? Downtown Hamilton coated in snow

Even with the Inuit Nation’s 30 words for snow, Canadians are running out of things to say around the ice, er, water cooler.

It’s been our coldest winter in 34 years, and Canadian...

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Barton Street Jail: 25 Years of Permanent Tourism

Tags: Hamilton, Jail, Economic Development, Tourism


By Gore 'Park' Vidal

Barton Jail

Ironically, it's Barton's get-out-of-jail-free card.

And some neighbourhoods might look the gift horse of a jail in the mouth,
but for local development...

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Frisky Hamilton Luger Doubly Devastated by 'Sochi Olympic Bullies'

Tags: Hamilton, Sports, Sochi Winter Olympics, Russia, luge


Donny Bouchard Cookie Sledder

That’s how the cookie crumbles.

Unfortunately, for Donny ‘Deerfly’ Bouchard, he’s had his fair share of humble pie this year. Once Canada’s ‘Golden Boy of...

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Coleman vs Ferguson Mud Wrestling First Event Booked at New FirstOntario Centre

Tags: Joey Coleman, Fight, Lloyd Ferguson, Mud Wrestling


They're doing it again, but this time it's municipal.

In the wake of this week's punch-up in the halls of City Hall between Lloyd "No Sidewalks" Ferguson and Joey "The...

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Valentine's Day Massacre Dampers Fun Team Building Exercise

Tags: Hamilton, Dundurn Castle, Crime, violence, Team Building, Community, Social Workers


Dundurn Massacre

There’s no blood in team.

What began as a delightful team building exercise at Dundurn Castle, ended in 14 deaths and 33 life-threatening injuries.

According to survivors of the clash, this...

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Bratina Opens City Data, Tech Sector Dis-APP-ointed

Tags: Hamilton, Bob Bratina, Tech, Open Data, Government Data, Municipal Politics


Open Data

“We're going to have more data than C-3PO!”

The Mayor of Hamilton was grinning ear-to-ear this afternoon as his assistant, Peggy Chapman, faxed his latest press release around...

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You'll Never Get Hamilton Until You Read This Horrifying News About the Festival of Friends

Tags: Hamilton, Festivals, Music, Festival of Friends, Entertainment


By Bart Sherman




Festival of Friends

A touch of grey indeed.

With money tighter than the business end of a weasel this year, Hamilton's Festival of...

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Mac Engineers Hire Raffi to 'Shake Their Sillies Out'

Tags: Sexism, Education, McMaster Engineers, Raffi, Bawdy Songs


Mac Engineers

The Bananaphone is ringing again.

It’s been a troubling week for the McMaster Engineering Society (MES).  Banned from all future campus events for their sexist and degrading songbook,...

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Gaydar love: Putin's horrifying Olympic repression tactics

Tags: Russia, Sochi, Olympics, Putin, Anti-gay


Gaydar in Russia

If you’re in Sochi this winter, you might want to try to fly under the gaydar.

That's right, I said 'gaydar.' That handy little device that saved closeted LGBT members from...

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Delta Bingo Closes, Hamilton Dabs Eyes

Tags: Hamilton, Entertainment, Delta Bingo, Adult, Bingolicious


Bye Delta

First Show World, now Delta.

It’s been a disappointing 3-year period for downtown Hamilton’s lower crust. The ‘art house’ theatre Show World, once Canada’s largest, ...

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Bratina making grab for mayor's chair -- in Toronto

Tags: Hamilton, Politics, Rob Ford, Toronto, Bob Bratina, Mayoral Race, McHattie


Bob on Toronto

By Bart Shermanov

"Have you driven a Ford from office lately? Well, I'm about to."

And with that pithy catchphrase, Hamilton Mayor Bob Bratina launched a stunning bid for the...

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Payday Loan Co. sponsors Copps: ‘They showed the greatest interest’

Tags: Hamilton, Finance, Copps Coliseum, Live Nation


Cash Money Coliseum

Give credit where credit is due.

Credit is, in fact, a large part in the discussion of changing Victor Copps’ downtown namesake, in hopes of corporate sponsorship.

If Live Nation and Global...

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Rob Ford asks for "Every grain of salt we have"

Tags: Rob Ford, Ice Storm, Salt Shortage


Salting the city

Donate $1: "Help keep Hammer in the News FREE" #HamOnt

I thought we already did take you with a grain of salt, Rob.

Apparently, Canada's largest...

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'Witches Tit' expression demystified by local weatherman

Tags: etymology, word origin, witches tit, witches, weather


Witches Tit

There's a reason the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't a glass cutter.

The classic Canadian expression, 'It's colder than a witches' tit,' may not mean what you think.


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HTN: Year in Review - Oprah to Artsprawl

Tags: Hamilton, News, 2013, Year in Review


Art is the old steel

2013, for me, is the year I began a media empire.

For you, reader, the following headlines framed your life:

The Issues



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7 Tips for Surviving a Mediocre Family at Christmas

Tags: Christmas, Mediocre kids, self-improvement


Drink up, it's Christmas

How's raising those mediocre kids going? Still no prodigies?

Keep tryin' - but in the mean time here are tips to survive Christmas with your less-than-ideal-children.

Mimosa's at...

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Jehovah's Witnesses offer door-to-door mail delivery to Post Canada

Tags: Religion, Canada Post, Delivery Service, Jehovah's Witnesses


Postal Service

It's a match made in one version of heaven.

Last week, Canadians were delivered some shocking news: Canada Post plans to phase out door-to-door delivery over the next few years. Everyone was...

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Starbucks succulent balls will bag 'Timbit' market

Tags: Tim Hortons, Restaurant, Food, Coffee, Starbucks


Buck Balls

It looks like Starbucks is putting the squeeze on Tim Hortons' bits.

In a flashy marketing campaign that took social media by storm, Starbucks announced that its Canadian stores will now...

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"Hunger Games style" hunter cull at RBG next week

Tags: Sports, Hunting, RBG, Royal Botanical Gardens, Hunger Games, deer cull


RBG Hunter GamesCulling all hunters!

Get ready to Rambo, Katness lovers. We're about to find out who the huntiest hunters in the district are.

Over five days next week, beginning Monday, the Royal Botanical...

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King and Main renamed Ivor Wynne N and S, 'Just like the 401'

Tags: Hamilton, Ivor Wynne, Traffic, Transportation, Main Street, King Street


Ivor Wynne N and SIf there's an exile on Main street, you're going to have to be more specific.

Main Street and King Street will be changed to Ivor Wynne North and Ivor Wynne South, respectively, taking...

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